The Secretary of War Colonel Tapioca summons the troops of the Peanut Republic, presided over by Anastasio, for indoctrination

«Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.»

Mark Twain's "The Mysterious Stranger"

The assault of laughter «can topple dictatorships. On December 21st 1989 Nicolae Ceausescu, Romania’s despot, was addressing a large crowd, many of whom were state employees bused in to wave pro-regime flags. Suddenly, someone jeered. Then the jeers spread, and soon the whole crowd was jeering. Though the censors hastily cut the live television feed, the whole country realised that practically everyone hated the dictator. Four days later Ceausescu was executed by firing squad, and Romania was free.» (source)

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The Secretary of War lectured the generals on restoring the «warrior ethos», transforming the «Woke Department» into the War Department at the expense of fitness and personal hygiene, restoring «male» standards for combat and promotions based on merit rather than diversity, and relaxing both the measures to deter hazing and toxic behavior in the barracks. Basic training would be "redefined as what it should be: scary, rigorous, and disciplined».

The Secretary of War then turned the floor over to the president, who presented the new doctrine which consists of replacing the «ugly» modern stealth warships, and reinstating the old battleships with large-caliber cannons instead of missiles, moving the armed forces at home to help wage «the war from within» against migrants and leftists, and using «some of these dangerous cities as training grounds».