He was rather murdered by Mr. Bové. Further investigation led me to find out the hidden motive, besides the one everybody thought about – the fighting against hamburger.
Why this tragic murder was M. Bové's brainchild and it was perpetrated by himself? With sodium chloride, do you remember?
Mr. Bové’s hope was that the deceased would be replaced with the French McDonald’s Europe chief operator Monsieur Denis Hennequin. Ce Monsieur la is well known for his reputation of creator of «Croque McDo», a ham-and-cheese stuff adapted to the delicacy of the French capitulacionist palate. He is also a huge buyer of French mad cows from the high-subsidized French farmers to manufacture McBurguers à la française.
Those French cows are mad not for they are contaminated with Creutzfeldt-Jacob Disease – I’m not saying that they are not - but since French farmers use to copulate with them when coming home after their long journeys blocking roads with their tractors. You can imagine the suffering of a poor cow being fucked by someone who hasn’t a bath for weeks? Who wouldn't turn mad?
Guess why this horrendous crime was not denounced by other freedom fighters, such as Merde in France? Is M. Bové threatening sending those dirty farmers chez les combatants du livre commerce?
Anyway, this conspiracy was defeated and Mr. Charlie Bell, an obviously not French, sound and honest guy, was named Mr. Cantalupo’s successor.
(Do this version of Mr. Cantalupo passing seems to you a little bit crazy? See it as just the way M. Bové’s friends use to tell their bullshit about multinationals and the like.)
(French farmer with mad cows, coming home after a demonstration, preparing himself to get mad avec les vaches)
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